Monday, February 25, 2013

The End Of The Road (Excerpt)

WHEN A PERSON STANDS ON A STAGE AND HAS HUNDREDS OR thousands of people watching them, singing their songs, etc. it can’t help but feed an ego. Those that tell you different are lying, bottom line. It’s only human.  Even walking out on stage with the purest intentions can still lead to unhealthy emotions.  Many times after a concert, especially during the last few years the band was enjoying it’s most success I would often have to check myself at the end of the night.  I simply had to keep my ego in check.   Artists are human and artists are frail. That applies no matter what type of music one plays.  These people that think if you play Christian music you should never struggle with issues like this are badly mistaken, or they have never done it!   Because we weren’t a huge band and were more popular in certain areas, some concerts were better left forgotten.  Many places we had to win over an audience, but those where the audience knew our songs and us were amazing.  I fed off the energy and the adrenaline.  There is nothing like the feeling one gets from the audience.  We would often say that the view from the stage was the greatest view in the world!  You can see where the ego can be inflated and that adrenaline becomes like a drug.  Many times after the “high” of the concert would fade I would get down in the dumps.  I would long for that feeling.  Depression was playing games with me and my addictive personality was growing.    

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